All about the crisis 3 years in children: how to understand the psychology of the child, how to behave to parents - advice of a psychologist


  • 1. Symptoms of crisis in ch
  • 2. Causes of the crisis in 3 years
  • 3. How long is the crisis of three years?
  • 4. How to help a child survive this time?
  • 5. Recommendations from the other parents of
  • 6. Doctor Komarovsky about the crisis of 3 years and disobedient children

Most recently your child was a sweet and affectionate toddler snuffling in a crib, but a little time has passed, curiosity and a crisis of 3 years have come -Psychologists call the time when a charming little boy or a girl turns into a whimsical wreck, which gives no rest to any member of the family. It would seem that there are problems in education or character, but it is better to understand the causes more deeply.

Crisis of 3 years The behavior of a three-year-old child during the crisis can change beyond recognition: it is important for parents to know in advance the nuances of the upcoming test in order to get out of it as gently as possible

Symptoms of crisis in children

  1. The child moves away from adults. There is confrontation with adults - the kid wants to do everything himself, any of your help will be perceived with hostility.
  2. You have to put up with the desire to defend your "I", now your child feels like an adult.
  3. In the speech of a toddler at 3 years old you can hear formulations of this type: "I want", "I myself".
  4. The child becomes jealous and greedy, this is aggravated when a second baby is born.
  5. Obstinacy manifests itself in every detail - whether it is a desire to walk longer, buy a toy or not have a mess.
  6. Harm - another feature, if you ask the child about something, it will do the opposite, not because it wants, but only because of the desire to be naughty.
  7. There is unreasonable aggression, sometimes comes to the abuse of adults, crying crying, children's howls, bites and hysterics, in such a situation indulge the whims, referring to the crisis of three years, it is not worth it, you risk growing an unmanageable person.
  8. The kid needs a lot of attention - even leaving him for a minute, you will encounter aggression in his address - you can be accused of almost betrayal.
  9. During the crisis of 3 years, the child wants to be the best in everything, feeling the parental support - for achievements it is necessary to praise in order to evoke a feeling of pride.


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Causes of the crisis in 3 years

The reasons for the crisis are caused by the growing up of a little man. If before he felt defenseless, now in the inner world there have been significant changes: it seems as if he is already an adult, dissatisfied with life a person. Parents at this time behave as something strange: they try to patronize, which causes aggression.

The acute form of the crisis is caused by a wrong family upbringing, if the mother and father deprived the child of independence, did not allow making decisions, were constantly guarded. Often, young parents are characterized by inconsistency of behavior: Dad allows, and Mom forbids toys. All this will lead to a crisis of 3 years.

How long is the crisis of three years?

The crisis of 3 years has no clear boundaries, an uprising against an authoritarian family way can begin in 2.5 or 3 years. The flow of this time and duration are due to upbringing, the efforts that parents put to overcoming a difficult age. It may take about a year for the baby to become a regular child again, in most cases the situation becomes stable by 4 years.

Child 3 years The crisis of 3 years is a conditional concept, since a child can "reign" and up to the age of 4

How to help a child survive this time?

  • To avoid the emergence of a crisis of three years, do not use the authoritarian style of upbringing, excessive care will lead to the fact that eventually you will grow a room child, this will create a lot of problems later in life. Excessive care never benefited.
  • Parents should adhere to one system of education, this should be agreed in advance, discussing the details and finding out the disputable issues, solve problems with grandparents - they often spoil their grandchildren without listening to you.
  • Behave calmly, not succumbing to the provocation of a small tyrant, he must understand that hysterics and tears will not put you out of balance, exclude manipulation, show that you can not achieve the fulfillment of desire by cries.
  • Do not argue with the child, trying to impose his point of view, at 3 years old the kid can make his own decisions, if you used to keep him away from many things, now it's time to learn the world without prohibitions - let him feel independent.
  • To command a toddler, too, should not be, this will increase the nervous tension, and the attitude will deteriorate, rather show restraint, let the child think that the decision he takes independently.
  • Do not force to take food by force, if you show signs of a crisis for three years, let the child choose the length of the meal, eat - he may go, maybe he is just not hungry, and you impose his position, the kid himself knows how much food he needs.
  • A child of three years needs independence: if he wants, can sweep the floor, wash dishes, water flowers or even participate in washing - small household chores will form a love for diligence, even if it does not turn out well, praise it.
Child with a designer During the crisis for the child, his independence is very important - it is necessary to allow the child to join in adult activities, give him the opportunity to make his own choice
  • To cope with difficulties will help the instructions of a psychologist, if you want to avoid conflicts, behave appropriately: ask permission of the child in everything that concerns himPerson, go for a walk - find out what clothes he will wear, prepare dinner - ask what he wants.
  • Be reasonable - give in to the little things, for example, if today the baby wants to eat the second dish before the soup, nothing terrible will happen, in the desire to take these toys to the yard, too, there is nothing to worry about.
  • Go for compromises - let the kid choose the optimal solution for him, parents do not need to put ultimatums.
  • Study the psychological characteristics of your child, the children's organism is individual, pay attention to the weaknesses of the child, build up education not on punishments, but on positive encouragements.
  • If the child does not cope, do not need to do everything for him, better just offer to help. If you run into aggression, do not insist, let the kid do everything as it goes, you can change it without him.
  • The manifestation of warmth and affection is a sure way to overcome crisis phenomena, one needs to take care of the baby, it is more often to embrace and praise him, this will form self-confidence in the young prankster, and will make him feel loved in the family. Especially in such gestures need children, forced to share love with their brothers and sisters.
  • If you can not handle the situation on your own, and the tense situation in the family increases, it is better to turn to the help of a professional child psychologist.
Child psychologist Do not be afraid to treat your child to a psychologist - the specialist will simply help you to survive the crisis and tell your parents how to act in specific situations

Recommendations from other parents

  1. Constant swearing will cause the child to be disappointed in you, psychology helps parents: do not break down on trifles, a broken cup will not become a tragedy, and soiled pants can always be washed, negative behavior will lead to a complex of guilt for the growing person, and this threatensAlready more serious consequences in adulthood.
  2. Gaming techniques will help to turn routine matters into fun and carefree time spent together, excluding the crisis of three years will be easier - you will understand how such a technique of upbringing is good. To help you come your favorite toys: the doll wants to eat only together with the baby, the bear does not go to bed alone.
  3. A difficult age lasts a long time because you choose the wrong tactic of behavior: compare the successes of your child with other children is not worth it - you can develop a sense of inferiority, to other children the child will begin to be treated negatively. It is better to compare successes with his own example.
  4. The character of the child will be hopelessly spoiled if you constantly insult him: a sprawl is far from the best definition of his skills, even if the kid can not do anything himself. Praise the desire, offer a little help, so that the result is even better.
It is impossible to restore the lost family balance independently, the difficult age of children becomes a tough test for strength. If you can not solve the problems that have arisen, you should not be ashamed of the psychological help: a qualified specialist will help you with advice and deed, guide you in the right direction, allowing you to grow up a happy and full-fledged member of society.

Doctor Komarovsky on the crisis of 3 years and disobedient children

How to raise a spoiled baby? What should parents know? Is it possible to punish a child? How easy is it to survive the crisis? When should I see a doctor? These questions will be answered by Dr. Komarovsky in his video, he will talk about the main aspects of upbringing, share useful tips and recommendations with parents.


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