What should parents do during childhood hysteria: how to calm a child 2-4 years old and how to react to constant "concerts"?
1. Reasons for
2. Difference from whims of
3. Stages of attacks
4. Hysterics in a child in 1,5-2 years
4.1. Correct reaction: what is it?
4.2. Hysterics in public places
5. Hysterics in the child 3 years old
5.1. We go out to fight with hysterics
6. Hysterics in a child 4 years old
During hysterics, the child loses his composure, and his general condition is characterized as extremely excited. The hysterics of the child are accompanied by the following signs: crying, screaming, waving movements with the feet and hands. During seizures, the baby can bite itself or nearby people, falls to the floor, there are cases of head blows against the wall. A crumb in such a state does not perceive the usual words and beliefs, inadequately responds to speech. This period is not suitable for explanations and admonitions. The conscious impact on adults is calculated that eventually he will
get what he wants. Often this behavior has a positive effect.
The older the baby, the more personal desires and interests appear. Sometimes these views are at odds with what their parents think. There is a clash of positions. The child sees that he can not achieve the desired and begins to get angry and nervous. Such tense situations provoke the emergence of hysterical states. Let's list the main factors that affect this:
the kid is not able to state and express his dissatisfaction;
attempt to attract attention to yourself;
the desire to get something right;
overwork, hunger, lack of sleep;
is a painful condition during or after exacerbation of the disease;
attempt to become like other children or to look like an adult;
result of excessive guardianship and excessive parental rigor;
positive or negative behavior of the child does not have a clear reaction from adults;
system of rewards and punishments is poorly worked out;
when the child is torn from some fascinating occupation;
weak nervous system, unbalanced behavior.
Having seen one of these things with your baby, parents often do not know how to react and how to stop it? The only desire at the time of attacks is that they should end sooner and never start again. Parents can influence their frequency. From their correct and rational behavior will depend on the duration of such situations.
Mistakes in the response will lead to the prolongation of unpleasant moments for years to come. A calm reaction to hysterical attacks, the lack of reaction as such will bring childish tantrums to "no" in the shortest possible time.
Before you start fighting with hysterical attacks, you should distinguish between two concepts of "hysteria" and "whim".Moods are deliberate actions aimed at obtaining the desired, impossible or forbidden. Manifestations of vagaries are analogous to hysterics: stamping, screaming, throwing objects. Moods are often born where there is no possibility to fulfill them - for example, you want to eat a candy, and they are not in the house, or go for a walk, and a shower outside the window.
Baby tantrums distinguish involuntary. A kid can not cope with emotions, and it spills out in physical manifestations. So, in a hysterical state, the child tears his hair, scratches his face, loudly cries or knocks his head against the wall. It can be stated that sometimes there are even involuntary convulsions, which are called "hysterical bridge".The child arches in this state in an arc.
Stages of attacks
How do children's hysterics manifest themselves?2-3 years - age, characterized by the following stages of seizures:
Loud cries of the child scare parents. At the same time, no requirements are put forward. During the beginning of the next hysteria the kid sees nothing and does not hear around.
Main characteristics of the period: active scattering of things, stomping, kicking, hands and head against the wall, floor. He does not feel pain at such moments.
Tears begin to flow in the child. They flow just streams, and the whole appearance of the little girl expresses resentment. The kid who crossed the second stage and did not receive any consolation in it, continues to sob for a very long time. Babies are very difficult to cope with the emotions that rushed over them. Having received comfort only at the last stage, the child will be completely exhausted, express the desire to sleep in the daytime. Quickly falls asleep, but at night he sleeps with an alarming dream.
The weak and unbalanced type of the child's nervous system is most prone to severe attacks. At the age of 1 year, hysterical manifestations also occur. They are characterized by exhaustive long crying. What can cause this condition? The reason may be even a minimal mistake in care: my mother did not change wet panties, a feeling of thirst or hunger, a call for sleep, pain from colic. Such children are characterized by constant spills at night. A one-year-old can continue to cry for a long time, even if the reasons have already been eliminated.
Hysterics in a child in 1,5-2 years
Children in a year and a half roll up tantrums on the background of emotional overload and fatigue. Not completely settled psyche gives such results, but the older the child, the more conscious are his hysterical attacks. He thus manipulates the feelings of parents, achieving their goals.
By the age of 2, a grown-up baby already understands how to use the words "I do not want", "no" and understands the meaning of the phrase "impossible."Having realized the mechanism of their action, he begins to apply them in practice. Express the verbal protest or disagreement of the two-year-old can not yet, so he resorts to a more expressive form - to hysterical seizures.
Aggressive and rampant behavior of a 1-2-year-old child shock parents, they do not know what kind of reaction will be correct. Baby screams, waving his arms, lying on the floor, scratching - all these actions require an adequate response of adults. Some of the adults give in to provocation and fulfill all the desires of the karapuza, and a part of it resorts to physical punishments in order to wean it from the like in the future.
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Correct reaction: what is it?
What should be the reaction to the hysterical bouts of the two-year plan? At the core is often a whim, expressed in the words "I will not", "give", "do not want", etc. Having failed to prevent the appearance of a hysterical attack, discard thoughts about calming the child. Also, it is not worth it to admonish or scold, it will only further inflame his impulse. Do not leave the child alone. It is important to keep him in sight, so the crumb will not be frightened, but will maintain self-confidence.
READ ALSO: the whims of a child in 2 years - how to fight?
Once you lose to the baby, you risk getting repeated repetition of this. Do not promote this skill, do not go on an occasion. Having felt once that the child achieves his own behavior, he will resort to this method again and again.
One-time weakness of an adult can turn into a long-term problem. Beating and punishing the child is also not worth it, physical effects will not bring results, but will only exacerbate the behavior of the baby. Really helps to completely ignore the children's tantrums. Seeing that his efforts are vain and, if they do not bring the desired result, the child will abandon this method of influence.
You can gently and quietly reassure him, telling the crumb about how you love him, while firmly embracing and holding in his arms. Try to be more generous and tender, if even he gets angry, screams or knocks his head. The karapuza, escaping from your embrace, do not hold it by force. In a situation where the crumb hysteria due to the fact that he does not want to stay with someone( with his grandmother, with the tutor), it should be left as soon as possible, leaving him with an adult. Delaying the moment of parting will only prolong the process of children's hysteria.
It is very difficult for parents to control the process of hysterical demands in public places. A child of 2 years is much easier and safer to give in order to stop the noise and establish calm, but this opinion is extremely erroneous. Skewed views of others should not worry you at this moment, most importantly - the same reaction to similar actions.
Once you give up and scandal, you provoke a second repetition of the situation. Kroha asks for a toy in the store - be firm in your refusal. Do not react to his tramp, indignation and discontent of any plan. Seeing the confident and unshakable behavior of parents, the child will understand that hysterical fits do not help to achieve the desired. Remember that the crumb suits hysterical attacks in order to influence often in public places, counting on the opinion of the public.
The best option is to wait a little. After the end of the attack, you should calm the crumb, hug and affectionately inquire the cause of his behavior, and also say that talking with him is much more pleasant when he is calm.
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Hysterics in the child 3 years old
A child in 3 years wants to be independent and feel his adult and independent. The crumb already has its desires and wants to defend its rights before adults. Children of 3 years are at the turn of new discoveries and begin to feel unique personality, can behave differently in such a difficult period. Of the main characteristics of this stage is negativism, stubbornness and self-will. Hysterics in a child of 3 years often discourage parents. Just yesterday, their baby did everything with joy and pleasure, and today he does everything in defiance. Mom asks to eat soup, and the baby throws a spoon, or the dad calls to himself, and the child insistently ignores these requests. It seems that the main words of the three-year plan become "I do not want", "I will not."
We go out to fight with hysterics
How to cope with children's hysterics? It is important when weaning the crumbs from this harmful occupation is not to concentrate on his bad deeds. Give up the desire to break his character, it will not lead to anything good. Of course, it is also unacceptable to allow everything the child wants to do. How then can we fight this disaster? The child should understand that hysteria does not help to achieve any results. Wise grandmothers and mothers know that the best way in such cases is to switch children's attention to something else, to distract him. Choose interesting alternatives: watch your favorite cartoon or work out, play together. This method does not work if the crumb is already at the apogee of hysteria. Then the best thing is to wait.
At the manifestation of hysteria at home, clearly formulate your idea that any conversations with him will only after he calms down. At this moment, do not pay any more attention to it and do household chores. Parents should set an example of how to own their emotions and stay calm. When the baby calms down, talk to him and tell how much you love him and that his whims will not help you achieve anything.
When moods happen in a crowded place, try to withdraw or take the child to where there will be less spectators. Regular hysterics in crumbs provide for a more attentive attitude to the words that you say to the child. Avoid situations where the answer to your question may be denial. You should not say categorically: "Dress quickly, it's time to go to the street!" Create the illusion of choice: "Will you go in a red sweater or in a blue sweater?" Or "Where would you like to go, to the park or to the platform?"
Approaching the age of 4 years, the child will change - children's tantrums will subside and pass as suddenly as they appeared. A crumb enters the age when there is already the ability to tell about your desires, emotions and feelings.
Hysterics in the child 4 years
Often we, adults, themselves provoke the children the appearance of whims and hysterics. Permissiveness, absence of frameworks and concepts "it is impossible" and "no" render the baby a disservice. The crumb falls into the trap of parental carelessness. So, the children of 4 years perfectly feel the slack and if the mother says "no" - then the grandmother can resolve. It is important for parents and all adult educators to agree and discuss what is permitted and forbidden, and also to inform the child. After this, you should follow the established rules. All adults should be united in their methods of education and not violate the prohibitions of others.
Komarovsky argues that frequent childish whims and tantrums may indicate the presence of diseases of the nervous system. For help, a neurologist or psychologist should be contacted if:
has a rapid manifestation of hysterical situations, as well as their aggressiveness;
there is a violation or interruption of breathing during seizures, the child loses consciousness;
hysteria continues after 5-6 years of age;
kid beats or scratches himself, others;
tantrums are manifested at night in combination with nightmares, fears and frequent changes in mood;
after an attack in the child there is vomiting, shortness of breath, fatigue and fatigue.
When doctors state that there are no diseases, one should look for a reason in family relationships. The closest surrounding of the baby can also have a big impact on the appearance of hysterical attacks.
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How to cope with child hysteria? It is important for parents to catch a moment close to an attack. Perhaps the kid presses his lips, sniffs or sobs slightly. Having noticed such characteristic signs, try to switch the crumbs to something interesting.
Distract the attention of the child, showing a view from the window or changing the room, taking an interesting toy. This method is relevant at the very beginning of childhood hysteria. With the active development of the attack, this method will not yield results. To prevent hysterical conditions, Dr. Komarovsky gives the following advice:
Compliance with the rest and daily routine.
Respect the right of the child for private time, allow to play for fun.
Call the child's feelings in words. For example, say: "It's a shame that you have a toy taken away" or "You're angry because your mother did not give you candy."So you teach the child to talk about their feelings and give them a verbal form. Gradually, he will learn to control them. Having determined the boundaries, let them know that their violation is unacceptable. For example, the kid screams in the transport, you explain: "I understand, you're mad at me, but screaming on the bus is unacceptable."
Do not help the child do what he can do on his own( take off his panties or go down the stairs).
Let's choose a child, for example, what kind of sweater to go to the street, or on what area to go for a walk.
Assuming no choice, put it this way: "We go to the clinic."
When the crumb begins to cry, distract it, asking to find some object or show where something is lying.